Worry is Worthless

 

I meet many new people on daily basis…its one of the best things about living in a big city! So many backgrounds and experiences and personalities! But one thing I find that a lot of people have in common, at least in things they mention in conversation, is some level of worry. They worry about their job, worry about the latest virus going around, worry about their future etc… Even the happiest and outgoing of people I encounter express this on some level. Although I usually restrain myself in the moment…all I really want to do is reach out and shake them and yell in their face that worry is not helping them AT ALL! Worry brings on stress which brings on gray hairs, heartattacks, ulcers and premature wrinkles. Yuck!

Worry is worthless! Wasting the time and energy on meditating on things that may or may not happen is draining and completely unproductive. You can rarely control the outcomes of many circumstances in your life. All you can control is YOUR ATTITUDE and YOUR ACTIONS! So stop wasting that time and use it towards building up some faith that good things are going to come from every situation. Instead of rolling those negative thoughts over and over why not roll positive thoughts over and over…envision yourself doing great things or being victorious over that current circumstance and what that will look like. Remember, circumstances are going to come to everyone…its how you choose to respond to them that matters! Dare to expect joy, success and fulfillment!

Cinderella

Cinderella’s story is something we all hear as small children. Its a story of struggle, hard work and overcoming obstacles. Cinderella’s story isn’t necessarily exactly like something we would encounter today, but there are similarities. No matter what we are pursuing…climbing the corporate ladder, building our own business or growing a family we all have dreams and goals we want to accomplish. But all too often I come across people who say they have a dream but its really a wish. There is a Gynormous!!! difference between a dream and a wish. A wish is something of fairy tales, but a dream is something you can work toward to accomplish. Yet just having a dream isn’t enough to get you from the pumpkin to the coach. From the pumpkin to the coach there is going to be some floors to scrub. So to make your dream happen its going to take determination, persistance and hard work! Every worthwhile dream or goal requires a lot of hard work and pushing yourself to a new level. From the pumpkin to the coach there won’t be a fairy god mother with a magic wand waving away your troubles, but if you dig deep within you and refuse to turn back during moments of challenge, you will get all your dream desires.

Self Image

How you see yourself, the picture you have of you in your head, is a picture that starts coming into focus from a young age and as we mature and experience life that picture should continue to get even clearer. With life experience, successes, failures, learning, loving and all that life entails we should be learning more about ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses and being okay with both. Yet, what I seem to see more often is that most peoples picture of themselves has gotten more blurry as they experience life. Or  to them its very much in focus but in a totally distorted/negative way. For me I’ve come to learn a lot about myself…my God-given personality, its strengths and weaknesses, the way I feel and express love, my likes and dislikes etc… I know that I have a lot to offer the world, I have many talents and accomplishments I’m proud of and I’m also very much aware of my weaknesses and that to become better I need to turn them into strengths. But I also know that since a young age I’ve always been excited to start something new but up till a few years ago, I rarely finished anything. Also, I know that because of certain life circumstances and the things people around me ingrained in my head, that I often had low expectations when the possibility of something good happening arose. Those two things alone had started to play a big part of how I saw myself. This quarter life journey, a self evaluation and time of refreshing has helped me to see that if I really want to move forward and become all I’m meant to be, that how I see myself must change and when I go out into the world to do my thing I will be so much more successful at it if that picture I see in my head is of someone worthy of success, who is positive, who is confident and capable etc… What does the picture you carry around of yourself look like? Is it helping you get where you want to go or holding you back?

We All Have Talent

I recently heard about the kid in this video. After watching this I was blown away. This 6th Grader is naturally talented its ridiculous! He’s had no voice training and only 3 years of piano lessons! It made me think that we all have a natural talent inside of us we just rarely figure it out if its not something obvious like a great voice or ability to play an instrument. There are so many other talents that we have been given…do you know yours? And beyond that, are you learning how to harness it, grow it and live in it? Because I’ve found that when you do, you will be more successful, happier and more fulfilled. I know you’re thinking the same way I did…how do I know what my talent is, if its not obvious. I asked the same question a while back. I think the thing that helped me most was actually the process of elimination. By recognizing the things I was not good at naturally I narrowed it down to what I was good at. From there I got insight from friends and family that helped me narrow it down even more as we usually don’t see things about ourselves that others see very plainly. So go discover your natural talent and find your place in the world that is uniquely yours!

Priorities…Got Em?

Everyday we go about living our life. For a lot of us we do the same thing everyday…the same routine. Its practically mindless after years of doing it. Yet, I beg you to consider what I just said. Is your life really that meaningless that you wouldn’t take the time to do things purposely with thought and passion behind it. I know what you’re thinking…”brushing my teeth and taking a shower each morning doesn’t exactly require much thought or passion.” I agree, and its those smaller trivial tasks that I’m not really talking about…although those small things do add up. What I mean is that everyday we have the opportunity to make things happen, to touch peoples lives and to become better. Yet I talk to too many people who say…”I have so much going on right now…I’ll come up with a plan and a purpose in a few weeks when things die down.” And as you can guess a few weeks from now more stuff comes up and they never get to stopping and slowing down long enough to evaluate how their life is accomplishing their goals so far. It comes down to evaluating priorities. We all have them. We just dont’ always stop and actually prioritize our daily life to match what we think is important. For example…many people say Family is a top priority yet they spend more time at the office then with their family. They do it under the banner of well I’m working so much to make money for my family to live well. Yes, financial security is important but thats no excuse for making time to share special moments on a daily basis with family. It doesn’t even have to be a lot of time, it can be a phone call to your mom to say HI in the middle of the day. It can be turning off your phone when you get home at night and going over your child’s homework or read a book. It can be getting up early to make coffee for your husband because you know he likes it.

You can come up with your own ideas that pertain to you. Today I just encourage you to take time to stop going through the motions and live more purposely…living YOUR LIFE according to your priorities. Start with small tweaks…they will add up to big lifetime improvements!!!

Things to do…

What would you do if you just received news that you only had just inherited 500 million dollars but you also just got a doctors report that you only had 5 years to live? What would you change? Everything? Nothing?

Hope…its contagious

Above is a cool video about Ethiopia, its people and their water…some truly inspiring images set to powerful music that will make anyone feel like they can supply all of Africa with water if they need to! I love it! Its all about hope and the power it has to inspire us to action no matter what the cause.

So What do you hope for? Long for? See in your dreams? I want you to know that you can have those things. Too often as we become adults, thinking shifts and instead of hearing “You can be anything you want to be when you grow up”…it changes to “what do you want to do for a job?…well being an astronaut is a little unrealistic maybe you should be a lawyer instead.” When and why does this happen? I think our parents just got their own dose of reality and decided they were helping us out by telling us the “truth.” But its not 100% true.

If you were given a vision for your life, a dream in your heart, then you were meant to accomplish that. If you want to pursue something…go for it! Life and success are all about risks but its the amazing things you learn from those risks that eventually lead you towards creative thought and then financial success. Don’t be afraid to hope! You can do whatever you dream about doing…you just have to be willing to go for it!

Hope…pass it on!

Its not wat you say…its what people hear

Perception is reality. I heard this a for the first time a few years ago and its always stuck with me. Too often some the greatest barriers we have when working with others (spouses, friends, coworkers etc….) is communication based. I know one of the biggest things I’ve had to learn to get better at in my relationships, especially with the hubby,  is truly listening to him and trying to interpret what HE is trying to say vs. what I think he’s saying. I know it sounds confusing but its true. Because of our experiences and personality differences words mean different things to different people even if we both speak english. LOL!

You’ve seen it and lived it in some small way I know you have. It can be so frustrating and words can be so twisted to mean something totally off base from what you meant! So my suggestion when you’re dealing with other people is truly try to communicate instead of just saying words. What I mean is to think about who you’re talking to, their personality and try to say things in a way they will specifically understand. It takes more time upfront but not only will you save productive and fun time later you’ll also be someone people love to talk to because you care enough about your interaction with them to take the time to truly think about what you want to say. Too often in the past words would just fall out my mouth with not a lot of thought…but thats so often what gets us in trouble and causes drama because once the words are out you can’t swoop em back in and tell the other person to erase it from their memory. So save yourself some time and energy and think about what you say and how you say it. You’ll thank me later

What does men vs. women really accomplish?

So I really do like the above video…I think anyone with even the smallest competitive bone in their body does. It even inspires me to get up and want to run! But I DO NOT agree with the underlying message…even though the tone is playful and fun the main concept is still that men and women have to compete and that its encouraged. Its this kind of stuff that really tears at the fiber of male/female relationships. I know its just a commercial but its more than that because each commercial, each sarcastic joke on a sitcom and each movie that covers the topic today is undercutting what could be the strongest and most rewarding relationship in our life. With a divorce rate of 75% obviously something is off here! I have to admit…being married has been so rewarding and so much fun, my husband and I are truly best friends…but that didn’t just happen, it takes daily work and some days it takes great restraint not to inflict physical harm because of my frustration. I just wish more people who have control over the tv shows, movies and other media would start to show more people being happily married and actively pursuing strong husband and wife relationships. I know the idea even sounds ludacris as I write it because that just wouldn’t “make for interesting tv.” Who would watch it? I think deep down a lot of people crave a strong, positive example in their life though and want to see other people having successful lives. I just know that for me and my corner of the world I will be that for others as best I can and show people how happiness in marriage looks…its not perfect but it makes like really sweet.

Let me know…do you agree?

And the Oscar goes to…

Our generation, Gen Y, seems so obsessed with “famous” people. You see it in the sheer amount of tabloids that sell on a daily basis and in the rising popularity of shows like TMZ and bloggers like Perez Hilton. I personally know so many Gen Y women that completely cancel all life events on nights of award shows. They plan it for weeks…the camping out on their couch, popcorn in hand just to see who is wearing what on the red carpet. Don’t get me wrong…I love fashion and glamour too but…my question is “Why the fascination?” I know you’re thinking why is this at all relevant to you and your quarter life crisis? Well I’m glad you asked. I think that the we…the Y Generation… whether we are experiencing a quarter life crisis or not are growing up with so many options of what to pursue as a career, that its overwhelming us first of all. And typically we just pick something based on what we think we may “totally not hate doing everyday” or just pick whatever will pay the best. I rarely meet people my age that are pursuing a passion…its sad but true. So with that said…as we are living these somewhat hum-drum lives we see all these celebrities living fabulous lives…we’re totally bombarded by it but it inevitably is our fault for buying into it too. We see them galavanting all over the globe, shopping in boutiques, lunching in the middle of the day etc… I think a lot of us are using these fascinations as a way to live vicariously through them because we don’t see those lifestyle options being possible for ourselves. Secondly, we also believe the lie that all rich people are happy. Wrongo! As the saying goes money does not buy happiness…I know I can hear what you’re thinking… “well give me a million dollars and I’ll show you not happy.” It seems weird from our perspective I know but it is true. I mean even with all the pictures of celebrities shopping merrily down Rodeo Drive there are at least just as many if not more of them fighting with a lover, out running paparazzi after fighting at a bar or headlines about divorce. Not to mention drug overdose, jail time and suicide. So here is my take on all this on how we can flip the fascination and make it productive for overcoming our quarter life crisis:

Lets spend more time celebrating our own lives! Start by finding those seemingly small daily joys and building upon them, pursuing more adventure and finding our passion along the way. Lets stop wasting so much of our own life watching others live theirs! I know you’ll find that you have great gifts to share with your own little corner of the world. Because when we share our strengths and talents with the world be find success and then money comes anyway. And when we do this the people around will look up to us as “celebrities” in their own life but in a an actual helpful way and not just about what shoes are hot this season or whos dating who. Also, take a minute to recognize the people around you that are personal celebrities to you because of how they inspire you, encourage you or just lead by example on how to live happily and productively.

As always I want to hear your comments…what did you do today that was awesome, helpful to someone else or something that happened that just made you smile?